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GUIDELINES FOR THE CELEBRATION Of MARRIAGE St. John Francis Regis Parish Copyright 1991: All rights reserved.
The scripture quotations contained herein are from the New Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission. Excerpts from the English translation of the RITE OF MARRIAGE, copyright 1969, International Committee on English in the Liturgy, Inc. All rights reserved. Congratulations on your engagement to be married! There are many options to consider in planning your wedding liturgy and this document is designed to assist you in that process. Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions or need assistance at any step along the way. We hope to help you really celebrate your marriage in the Catholic Church. In Christ, St. Regis Parish Staff Fr. Tom Holder, Pastor A Marriage is a Lifetime, A Wedding is a Day -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 1 Preparing to Celebrate At least Six Months in Advance: - meet with Fr. Holder to discuss: .... your desire to celebrate the sacrament .... your faith practice .... any special circumstances .... the date and time you have in mind .... the preparation process After the Initial Meeting: - The Parish Office Manager will assign a Lead Couple to meet with you. They will contact you to arrange mutually convenient times for the sessions over the next few months. - Meet with Alice Obarski, our Director of Liturgy, to discuss your wedding, including: .... special ministers needed .... decorations .... selecting readings .... music and musicians .... various options in the liturgy - you may make arrangements to reserve the Gym or Parish Hall for your reception by contacting our Parish Office Manager. (see page 10 for more information) After the Liturgy Meeting: - decide on liturgical roles and options - have your florist contact Alice Obarski regarding decorations - choose your readings - contact musicians and select music. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 2 Together For Life Upon Completion of Sessions with your Lead Couple (You'll need to bring a newly issued copy of the baptismal certificate for the Catholic bride and/or groom. It can be obtained simply by calling or writing the parish where you were baptized.) One Month in Advance: - a second meeting with Alice Obarski .... to clarify any details regarding your wedding .... to verify the rehearsal date and time .... obtain your marriage license and bring it in to the Parish office manager. She will type it up for you before the wedding. Within the Week Before: - if renting the Gym or Parish Hall for your reception, pick-up the keys - your rehearsal (see page 8 for more details.) The Day of Your Wedding: - the church will be available approximately one (1) hour before and one (1) hour after the ceremony for your florist and photographer to set-up and clean-up. The exact length of time is determined by any parish liturgies preceding or following your wedding. - don't forget to bring the ring(s) to the church with you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 3 Your Wedding Liturgy In the Catholic Church, your marriage is not simply a private ceremony. It is a liturgical celebration of our parish community with you, your families and friends. Many couples find that, although they may have attended Mass often as individuals and as a couple, they don't know all the options available to them. We provide the following guidelines to assist you in planning your wedding liturgy. Nuptial Mass or Wedding Service? All couples marrying in the Catholic Church are welcome to celebrate their wedding in the context of a nuptial mass; however, a wedding service without Mass is also an option. Couples of different faiths may wish to consider this option as a courtesy to their non-Catholic guests, since they may be unfamiliar with the responses, when to stand or kneel, and could not receive the Eucharist at mass. A wedding service can express the community's common faith in God without raising the potentially awkward issue of inter-church communion. Who Will Preside at the Wedding? This question is connected to your choice of a nuptial mass or wedding service. Any Catholic priest or Deacon in good standing is welcome at St. Regis. Of course, if you choose a nuptial Mass, Fr. Tom Holder is available to preside. If you have a relative who is a priest or deacon and wish to have him preside at the Mass or service, you may arrange that with Fr. Holder. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 4 Choosing the Date (and Time) Although most people choose a Saturday for the convenience of their guests, marriages may take place on any day of the week. You may celebrate your wedding during a regular Sunday liturgy or on a weekday evening. Saturday weddings may be scheduled between 10am and 1pm or after 6pm. The Wedding Party Selecting your attendants can be difficult, especially when you have many relatives and friends whom you wish to include in a special way. There are a number of liturgical roles to fill, so we encourage you to designate the special ministers needed for your wedding first, then choose your attendants. Admittedly, small children do look adorable in tuxedos or fancy dresses; however, their unpredictable behavior can detract from the sacredness and dignity of a wedding. Thus, we do not recommend flower girls or ring bearers as members of the wedding party. If, however, you wish to include them, we strongly urge that the children be at least five (5) years old. Special Ministers Altar servers - our parish provides altar servers, since they are most familiar with our parish procedures. Lectors - one or two people to proclaim the readings which precede the Gospel. The best person for this role is one who has experience as a lector or in public speaking. Reader for Prayers of the Faithful - this could be one of the lectors or another person. If your Lead Couple will attend the wedding, you might want to ask them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 5 Presentation of the Gifts - At a wedding Mass, two or three people to bring the bread, wine and any monetary or tangible gift for the poor to the altar. Eucharistic Ministers - At a wedding Mass, we suggest three or five additional ministers. Anyone commissioned by their diocese or parish as a Special Minister of Communion may assist in this role. The Role of the Assembly Since the wedding liturgy is not just witnessed by but celebrated with the assembled community, it is important to invite active participation by all in spoken prayer and song. Your cantor or song-leader is instrumental in encouraging this participation by announcing the hymns and responses. A printed program can also be helpful, especially for those who are unfamiliar with the Catholic order of worship. Decorations/Flowers Decorations for the church reflect the colors and themes of the liturgical year; changing with the seasons and feasts. You will want to consult with Alice Obarski early in your preparations to find out what decorations are planned for the liturgical season your wedding date falls within. We suggest that your florist contact her regarding any questions or clarifications needed. Since flowers can be a very expensive part of your wedding, if another wedding is scheduled the same day or weekend as yours, you may wish to consider sharing floral arrangements and their expense with the other couple. Alice can also guide you in selecting appropriate types and placement of candles, banners, or other decorative elements you may consider. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 6 For maintenance and safety reasons we ask that no flower petals, rice, or other seeds be thrown inside or outside the church building. We do not advocate the use of a white aisle runner, as some florists recommend. Scripture Readings & Prayers In the Rite of Marriage, the Church provides a wide variety of Scripture readings for you to choose from (see Appendixes A, B, & C). The liturgy usually includes a reading from Hebrew Scripture (Old Testament) and one from Christian Scripture (New Testament) as well as a Gospel reading. You may choose to have only one reading (from Hebrew or Christian Scripture) before the Gospel, if you wish. Select any of the following for detail: Appendix 'A' , Appendix 'B', Appendix 'C' . If your wedding Mass will be celebrated during the Advent, Christmas, Lent, or Easter seasons, or on a special feast day, the Catholic Church asks that we use the readings and prayers of the day. Alice Obarski can provide a copy of those readings for your lectors' use in preparation. Suggested General Intercessions (Prayers of the Faithful) may be found by selecting Appendix D. You may use those provided or write your own, including prayers for: .... the whole Church (all Christians) .... the world (civil authorities) .... the gathered community .... the couple .... the poor .... the sick (especially family members) .... the dead (especially family members). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 7 Musicians and Music Cantor or Song-leader - leads the assembly in their responses, as well as performing any solo pieces. Instrumentalist - accompanies the cantor and assembly for songs and responses, as well as performing any instrumental solos (e.g. processional and recessional). St. Regis Parish is home to a number of fine vocalists and instrumentalists whom our Director of Liturgy and Music can recommend. Each musician sets his or her own fees for services. Alice will discuss the selection of music appropriate for various parts of the mass or service with you in the initial meeting. Because your wedding is a religious celebration we ask that only sacred music be used before and during the mass or service. Popular love songs are more appropriate for your reception. Liturgical Options Order of Procession - We recommend that all members of the wedding party process through the sanctuary to take their proper places. The order of procession is flexible, to meet the needs of the families. Appendix E contains samples for your reference. Unity Candle - (optional) A large central candle is flanked by two smaller ones. The small candles are usually lit by the parents of the bride and groom at the beginning of the service, symbolizing the two families of origin. Following the exchange of vows and rings, the bride and groom take up their candles and together light the central candle, representing the new family formed by their marriage. See Appendix F . -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 8 Cultural Traditions - We are open to the worship expressions of all cultures, so please feel free to discuss with Alice any special prayers or actions you would like to include in your wedding liturgy. The Wedding Rehearsal As noted in the recommended timetable on page 2, your rehearsal should be scheduled by one month before the wedding. Alice Obarski will conduct the rehearsal and will convey to the presider all the necessary information, especially any changes made at the rehearsal. A primary purpose of the rehearsal is to practice the procession and recession of the wedding party, so that all are certain of their order in the procession and their location in the sanctuary or assembly. Also, your Lectors will be invited to proclaim their readings during the rehearsal. This will allow them to practice with the microphone and to clarify their place within the order of the wedding service or nuptial mass. In addition, people not familiar with St. Regis Church will have the opportunity to locate dressing rooms, etc. This is not a rehearsal with music. Musicians are welcome to arrange a separate rehearsal time through Alice, so that they may become comfortable with the parish instruments, acoustics and sound system. Since there may be more than one rehearsal scheduled on the same night, we ask that you be prompt. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 9 Dressing Rooms Some couples choose to have the wedding party dress at the bride's and/or groom's homes so special pictures can be taken in those familiar settings. For those who choose to dress at the church, two classrooms on the first floor, just beyond the Gathering Space are available for the members of your wedding party. Since these are classrooms, we ask your care with any student projects that are set-up and with replacing any furniture that you move. Also, we suggest that a family member or friend not in the wedding party be delegated to straighten things up and to gather any personal effects from the rooms immediately after the ceremony. This will help prevent any items being left behind. Also, the new Ladies Room has been designed to be wedding friendly. Photography and/or Video-Taping We ask that flash photos be taken during the procession and recession only and that the photographer be as unobtrusive as possible. We believe this helps maintain a prayerful atmosphere during your wedding. Additional photos may be restaged after the mass or service. If your wedding will be video-taped, the equipment may be placed in the rear of an aisle or at the north end of the sanctuary. The equipment and operator should remain in one location during the entire service, including the procession and recession of the wedding party, to be less distracting to the assembly. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 10 Gym or Parish Hall Rental The Gym and the Parish Hall of St. Regis Parish are available for wedding receptions. Arrangements can be made by calling the Parish Office Manager on 816-761-1608. Reservations cannot be made until after the initial meeting of the couple with Fr. Holder. Fees for use of the Gym are as follows: .... $100.00 deposit (refundable) .... $275.00 rental fee (for tithing parishioners) .... $425.00 rental fee (for non-tithing parishioners) ... $90.00 for Diocesan Insurance Policy. Fees for use of the Parish Hall are as follows: .... $250.00 deposit (refundable).... $350.00 rental fee (for tithing parishioners) ... or a $500.00 fee (for non-tithing parishioners) ... $90.00 Diocesan Insurance policy. Confirmation of your reservation is upon our receipt of the deposit. Keys may be picked up the day before the wedding and should be returned on the next business day. The amount of set-up time available depends on any other parish events scheduled in the Gym or Parish Hall. --------------------------------------------------------------------- |
